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5 Dec 2015 23:39

Want to keep real romance in your
marriage? Take a look at these 5 things real
romance is made of.
1. Romance Is Relationship:
First, begin by realizing that romantic
overtures will go nowhere if you and your
husband don’t have a strong, caring day- to-
day relationship; being kind and thoughtful
toward each other – asking your husband
about his day , how a hobby or special
project is going, or even reminiscing
together. It’s sharing common interests and
just taking the time to enjoy each other’s
company, as best friends.
2. Romance Is a Joint Process:
Many times a spouse will try to initiate
romance with a surprise dinner or a
vacation they planned out. But then they’re
disappointed when the event isn’t the dream
date or getaway they had imagined. It’s not
that the recipient isn’t appreciative of the
effort, but what is fun or relaxing to one
person may not be to the other. Since most
people aren’t mind readers, the only way to
really know what will impress your
husband is to ask. “What is romantic to
you?” “What is your idea of a dream date —
where would you go, how dressed up would
you want to be, what kind of restaurant?”
“What kind of vacation would you want to
go on — what time of year, where, what
kind of hotel, what kind of activities. Find
out what your husband likes and take it
from there. (Hopefully, he’ll get the hint and
ask you what your romantic ideal is. If he
doesn’t, find a way to share it with him.)
3. Romance Is a Surprise:
Finding out what your husband finds
romantic doesn’t mean you still can’t have
surprises. Your surprise doesn’t have to be
an unexpected date or weekend trip. It
could be something simple like a note, a
favorite meal or dessert, or offering to take
him to that new movie he’s really wanted to
see.
4. Romance Is Consistency:
As mentioned before, romance isn’t just an
event. It’s not putting effort into planning a
nice Friday night date and neglecting your
husband the rest of the week. It takes a
consistent effort. But unless you’re very
creative, it may get harder and harder to
think of new ways to keep the romance
alive. So build up some resources to help
you think of ideas. Start by asking your
spouse.
5. Romance Is Attention:
Focus on each other, not on what else you
could be doing. Going to the park for the
day? Don’t take the laptop or cell phone.
Thinking of baking a favorite dessert for
your husband? Don’t wait until you need to
ask him for a favor. Are you both going for
a stroll on the beach? Talk about something
other than the kids, finances, or chore lists.
Eliminate the distractions and focus on
enjoying your time with each other.
Building a romantic atmosphere in your
marriage won’t happen overnight or without
a continual effort, but the end result is
worth it. Keep the friendship in your
marriage strong, plan events centered on
shared interests, surprise each other with
special tokens of love, and give your
husband your undivided attention during
your romantic times together.