Nigerian forum: Jokes - COME AND LAUGH TIRE by DEL-SYMPATHY
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4 Apr 2014 00:58

A JOKE!
An Igbo man, a Yoruba man and an
Hausa man
were lost
in a forest and then captured by
cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the
prisoners that
they
could live if they pass a trial. The first
step was to
go deep into the forest and get ten pieces
of the same
kind
of fruits. The three men went their
separate ways to
gather fruits. The Yoruba man came back and said
to the king, "I
brought 10 apples." Then the king
explained the
trial to
him, "You have to swallow the fruits without any
expression on your face or you will be
killed." The
first
apple went in, but on the second one,
he winced out in
pain, so he was killed.
The Igbo man arrived and showed the
king ten
berries.
When the king explained the trial to him, he thought
to
himself that this should be easy.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and
on
the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was
killed.
The Yoruba man and Igbo man met in
heaven and
the
Yoruba man asked, "Why did you laugh? You
almost got
away with the trial." The Igbo man
replied, "I
couldn't
help it, when I saw the Hausa man coming with
Watermelons!"

4 Apr 2014 00:58

Assuming a teeth is taken out wenever u have sex. How many teeth will be left in ur mouth now ? Be honest and pass dis to ur friends for funny answers. Don't laugh alone, answer the question first and then SHARE. No liez pls:)

4 Apr 2014 00:59

A young man working in the army was constantly humiliated because he believed in God.One day the Captain decided to humiliate him before the troops. He called the young man and said:- Young man, take the key and go park the Jeep in front. The young man replied:- I cannot drive!The captain said:- But then ask for assistance from your God! Show us that He Exists! The young man took the key and walked to the vehicle, praying the whole time....As a result he parked the Jeep to the place PERFECTLY well as the captain wanted.The young man came out of the jeep and saw them all crying. They all said together:- We want to serve your God !The young soldier was astonished, he wanted to know what was going on? CAPTAIN was crying, and he opened the hood of the jeep showing the young man that the car had no engine.Then the boy said: See? This is the God I serve, the God who gives life to what does not exist. You may think there are things that are still impossible.THIS GOD OF IMPOSSIBILITIES WILL BE YOUR GOD TODAY! If you believe in GOD send ths msg to 6 ppl only God is going to answer ur prayer b4 06:00 am tomorrow

4 Apr 2014 01:01

maid wanted a salary raise?

madam wanted 3 reasons why she
wanted a raise

maid: I can cook Better than you?

Madam: who told you that

Maid: your husband told Me!

Madam: Ok, second reason
Maid: I can iron Better than you

Madam: who told you that

Maid: Your husband told Me

Madam: Ok, and the third reason?

Maid: I am also Better in bed than you!,
This time madam was furious & was getting
ready to break her head

Madam: Did my husband say that?

Maid: No the driver told me that I'm better in bed than you are

Madam: Please lower your voice I will
increase your salary.....

Don't Laff alone ....

4 Apr 2014 01:03

WHO IS AT FAULT ?? Boss: Take this #150,000, go to computer village and buy me quality laptop with a big RAM Akpos: Okay sir! Akpos didn't return after two days, so his boss decided to reach him on phone. Boss: Hello, Akpos, what kept you long? Akpos: The RAM Boss: The RAM? what do you mean? Where are you now? Akpos: I'm on my way back from Kano sir. Boss: Kano? Akpors: Yes Kano. I bought the Laptop at Ikeja but I traveled to Kano to buy the big RAM. Boss: Oh my God! Akpos (got angry): Oh my wetin? Oga, no tear eye for me o. I be small pickin o ? No be Laptop and big ram you send me? lolz

4 Apr 2014 01:04

A frd of mine was sleeping wit his gf in d middle of d nite,den d boy was dreeming abt his gfrd dat she was shacing him wit a cutclass,sundenly d guy felldown as she was abt 2 cut him e quickly woke up nd turn 2 his left nd saw his gfrd looking @ him eye2eye nd said 4 yur mind u sabi run abi?????plsssss if it whre 2 be wat will u do?????

4 Apr 2014 01:07

A King had a male servant who, in all circumstances always said to him; My king, do not be discouraged because everything God does is perfect, no mistakes. One day, they went hunting and a wild animal attacked the king, the servant managed to kill the animal but couldn't prevent his majesty from losing a finger. Furious and without showing gratitude, the King said; if God was good, I would not have been attacked and lost one finger. The servant replied, 'despite all these things, I can only tell you that God is good and everything He does is perfect, He is never wrong'. Outraged by the response, the king ordered the arrest of his servant. While being taken to prison, he told the king again, God is Good & Perfect. Another day, the king left alone for another hunt and was captured by savages who use human beings for sacrifice. On the altar, the savages found out that the king didn't have one finger in place, he was released because he was considered not "complete" to be offered to the gods. On his return to the palace, he ordered the release of his servant and said; My friend, God was really good to me. I was almost killed but for lack of a single finger, I was let go. But I have a question; If God is so good, why did He allow me to put you in prison? His servant replied; My king, if I had not been put in prison, I would have gone with you, and would have been sacrificed, because I have no missing finger. Everything God does is perfect, He is never wrong. Often we complain about life, and the negative things that happen to us, forgetting that everything happens for a purpose. God knows why you are reading this message today, please bless someone with it by sharing it. God is good and perfect!!
The song "It Is Well With My Soul" was written by a successful Christian lawyer Heratio Spafford,his only son died at age 4 in 1871,in 1872,d great Chicago fire wiped out his vast estate made from a successful legal career,in 1873 he sent his wife & 4 daughters over 2 Europe on a summer trip on d ill fated ss ville du Havre. Since he had a lot of work to do, he planned to follow them later.The Ship sank & he lost his 4 daughters wit d wife being d only survivor,she sent him a famous telegram which simply read,SAVED ALONE.... On His return home, his Law firm was burned down and the insurance refused to pay, they said "It's An Act Of God". He had no money to pay for his house and no work, he also lost his house. Then while sitting and thinking what's happening to him, being a spiritual person, he wrote a song - whatever my Lord, you have taught me to say - It is well, it is well with my soul. My dear friend, a good attitude will determine your altitude. When you look at your life, career, job or family life, what do you say? Do you praise God? Do you blame the devil? A good attitude towards God makes Him move on your behalf. Just sit down and say, Today God, it is well with my soul, I am thankful I had a peaceful sleep, I am thankful I am alive with possibilities, I am thankful I have a roof over me, I am thankful I have a job, I am thankful that I have Family and Friends. Above all, I am thankful that I have the Lord Jesus Christ on my side. Be blessed and don't be envious or shocked when others are prospering because you don't know what they have been through to get there (test, trials and tribulation) so thank God for what you have. "Little is much when God is in it. It Is Well With My Soul! Touch someones life with this message if God is for us, who can be against us? Don't read if you can't forward. God has seen you struggling with something. God says it's over. A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in God send this message on, please don't ignore it, you are being tested. God is going to fix two things (BIG) in your favor. If you believe in God, drop everything and pass it on. Tomorrow will be the best day of your live. Don't break this. Send this to fourteen friends in 10 minutes

30 Apr 2014 16:15

31

26 Oct 2016 15:00

All D Jokes Are Funny I Wanna Break My Ribs