Nigerian forum: Jokes - Mr Akpos 5
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10 Jul 2014 22:20

A little old lady was walking
down the street dragging two
large garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped
open, and every now and then,
a $50 bill fell out onto the
footpath. Noticing this, a cop
stopped her, and said, “Ma’am,
there are $50 bills falling Out of
that bag.”
“Oh, rats! Darn it!” said the little
old lady. “I’d better go back and
see if I can find them. Thanks
for telling me officer.”
“Well, now, not so fast,” said the
cop. “Where did you get all that
money? You didn’t steal it, did
you?” “Oh, no, no,” said the old
lady.
“You see, my yard is right next
to the baseball stadium parking
lot. On game days, a lot of fans
come and pee through a hole in
the fence, right into my garden.
Then I thought, “why not make
the most of it? So, now, on
game days, I stand behind the
fence by the hole with my
shears.
Every time some guy sticks his
dingus through my fence, I
surprise him, grab hold of it and
say, “O.K., buddy! Give me $50,
or I cut off your thing!”
Well, that seems only fair,” said
the cop, laughing. “OK. Good
luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in
the other bag?” “Well, you
know,” said the little old lady,
“not everybody pays.”

11 Jul 2014 11:28

Omo see gobe oo

11 Jul 2014 12:05

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11 Jul 2014 14:58

Omg. Dis woman is doro wicked

11 Jul 2014 17:16

chai! nah wetin go con dey inside ham!

11 Jul 2014 21:03

hahaha

11 Jul 2014 21:25

it seems d old lady is a kidnapers

12 Jul 2014 02:10

dis old lady iz wicked,chai!!! der iz god ooo

12 Jul 2014 09:54

Mayb she wan take am go soka

12 Jul 2014 10:31

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12 Jul 2014 11:10

NIGERIA CUSTOM OFFICE AUCTION! AUCTION!
AUCTIONAL AUTHORIZED
CARS
AUCTIONS/SALES)
WE HAVE DIRECT TOKUNBO CARS VERY CLEAN AND.
BRAND
NEW CARS FOR SALE AT CHEAPER PRICES.
These cars were siezed by government officials at.
border
and the
time duration given to the owners to claim their cars.
has
elapsed so
they are been sold at give away prices. All you need do.
is
to call contact The Custom Officer In Charge.
Name: COMRADE BALOGUN JOHNSON ON:+2349035450977 to
place.
An Order Of Your Choice Now.We deal in all.
cars,
you
can also make a request for the.
vehicle you want to purchase and also your budget for.
any
vehicle,
we deliver all over the 36 States in Nigeria.
place an order of your choice.FEATURES BELOW.
Acura MDX # 800,000.
Acura TL # 900,000.
Acura ZDX # 900,000.
Audi A4 # 500,000.
Audi A6 # 700,000.
BMW 3-Series # 750,000.
BMW 5-Series # 950,000.
BMW X5 # 990,000.
BMW X6 # 1.5M.
Ford Escape # 1.2M.
Ford Explorer # 1M.
Honda Accord # 850,000.
Honda City # 500,000.
Honda Civic # 500,000.
Honda Crosstour # 1.5M.
Honda CR-V # 950,000.
Honda Odyssey # 950,000.
Honda Pilot # 1.8M.
Hyundai Accent # 550,000.
Hyundai Elantra # 450,000.
Infiniti FX35 # 2.6M.
Infiniti FX45 # 3M.
Infiniti QX4 # 3.4M.
Isuzu Trooper # 750,000.
Jaguar S-Type # 450,000.
Jeep Liberty # 1.3M.
Kia Sorento # 550,000.
Land Rover Discovery # 1.6M.
Land Rover Freelander # 1.3M.
Land Rover LR3 # 800.00.
Land Rover LR4 # 900,000.
Land Rover Range Rover # 2M.
Land Rover # 1.5M.
Range Rover Sport # 2.6M.
Land Rover Vogue # 1.3M.
Lexus GS # 1M.
Lexus GX460 # 950,000.
Lexus GX470 #1 000,000.
Lexus LX 570 # 750,000.
Lexus RX 300 # 650,000.
Lexus RX 330 # 750,000.
Lexus RX 350 # 850,000.
Mazda 6 # 550,000.
Mazda 626 # 650,000.
Mazda MPV # 650,000.
Mazda Tribute # 950,000.
Mercedes-Benz C-Class # 650,000.
Mercedes-Benz E-Class # 750,000.
Mercedes-Benz G-Class # 550,000.
Mercedes-Benz GLK # 350,000.
Mercedes-Benz ML # 300,000.
Mitsubishi Endeavour # 350,000.
Nissan Altima # 450,000.
Nissan Armada # 850,000.
Nissan Maxima #750,000.
Nissan Murano # 900,000.
Nissan Pathfinder # 700,000.
Nissan Primera # 400,000.
Nissan Quest # 800,000.
Nissan Sentra # 650,000.
Nissan Xterra # 550,000.
Peugeot 406 # 430,000.
Peugeot 407 # 500,000.
Peugeot 607 # 650,000.
Toyota 4Runner # 850,000.
Toyota Avalon # 700,000.
Toyota Avensis # 750,000.
Toyota Camry # 550,000 - # 1M.
Toyota Corolla # 550,000.
Toyota FJ Cruiser # 750,000.
Toyota Hiace # 1.5M.
Toyota Highlander # 1.5M.
Toyota HiLux # 900,000.
Toyota Matrix # 750,000.
Toyota Prado # 2M.
Toyota Rav4 # 700,000.
Toyota Sequoia # 450,000.
Toyota Sienna # 650,000.
Toyota Tacoma # 800,000.
Toyota Tundra # 900,000.
Toyota Venza # 700,000.
Toyota Yaris # 550,000.
Volkswagen Beetle # 400,000.
Volkswagen Golf # 350,000.
Volkswagen Jetta # 400,000.
Volkswagen Passat # 550,000.
Volkswagen Touareg # 900,000.
And also several trucks like MAN, MACK, VOLVO,
MERCEDES etc
LEATHER AND FABRIC INTERIOR, CHILLING AC, ALLOY.
WHEELS.
INTERESTED BUYERS SOULD PLEASE CONTACT US FOR.
PURCHASE AND IMMEDIATE.
DELIVERY NATIONWIDE.
CONTACT{CONRADE BALOGUN JOHNSON. ON +2349035450977
INQUIRIES.THESE CARS ARE NOW AVAILABLE FOR INDIVIDUALS
&.
DEALERS IN THE AUCTION SAMUEL MOROHUMOBO MOTOR.
2014. INTERESTED BUYERS SHOULD for PURCHASE AND.
MORE INQUIRY.
FOR DEALERSHIP:-
All new dealers should come with :-
1. A valid international passport.
2. Certificate of incorporation of company.
3. A bank teller of #150,000 for the dealership certificates.
4. A well filled CUSTOM ORDER FORM.
5. Original certificate and a good resume.
6. Age declaration/Birth certificate.
7. Local/State govt of origin.
FOR INDIVIDUALS
YOU ARE TO SCAN AND COME WITH A COPY OF :- 1. Your valid
international
passport, drivers license or National ID card. 2. A teller of.
#100,000 for the ware house warrant card and insurance duty.
3. A well filled CUSTOM.
ORDER FORM.
4. A passport photograph for the warrant card.
5. Age declaration/Birth certificate.
6. Local/State govt of origin.
FOR BUYERS THAT CANNOT MAKE IT DOWN TO THE OFFICE.
You are to send a scan copy of:-
1. Your valid international passport, drivers license or national ID.
card
2. bank teller of the money of 80,000. For wearhouse warrant.
fees.
3. A filled CUSTOMORDER FORM.
4. A passport photograph for the warrant card.
5. Age declaration/Birth certificate.
6. Local/State govt of origin For the.
registration of the car.
Note: No buyer should come with money to the office.
for security reasons.
CAR FEATURES BELOW.
PRICES OF SOME TOYOTA CARS:
• Toyota Land Cruiser -N850,000.
• Toyota Prado N950,000.
• Toyota Highlander -N800,000.
• Toyota Corolla –N400,000.
• Toyota Camry –N300,000-N570,000.
• Toyota Avensis – N400,000-N600,000.
• Toyota Matrix -N450,000.
• Toyota Yaris – N450,000.
• Toyota Venza – N700,000.
• Toyota RAV4 SUV –N600,000.
• Toyota Hilus Pickup-N820,000.
• Toyota Dyna Truck – N900,000.
• Toyota Hiace Bus – N550,000.
• Toyota Coaster Bus 32 seaters N1,000,000.
PRICES OF SOME PEUGEOT CARS:
•Peugeot c230 N400,000.
•C300 N500,000
•Peugeot 606- N500,000.
•Peugeot 407-N400,000
•Peugeot 406- N350,00.
•Peugeot 405- N300,000.
PRICES OF SOME HONDA CARS.
•Honda Civic cars – N350,000.
•Honda Accord – N400,000.
•Honda CR-V – N520,000.
•Honda Odyssey – N620,000.
•Honda Pilot – N750,000.
PRICES OF SOME NISSAN CARS:
• Nissan Murano -N800,000.
• Nissan Xterra jeep - N500,000.
• Nissan Sunny sedanN350,000.
• Nissan Patrol SUV – N500,000.
• Nissan Civilian 30 seater bus – N900,000.
• Nissan Pathfinder SUV - N700,000.
and lots more.
PRICES OF SOME ROVER CARS:
• Range Rover - N1million.
• Rover 630i - N350,000.
• Rover 620i - N300,000.
PRICES OF SOME INFINITI CARS:
• Infiniti QX57 - N850,000.
• Infiniti QX56 -N820,000.
• Infiniti FX45 -N800,000.
• Infiniti FX35 -N750,000.
MODEL/YEAR OF MANUFACTURE..........1996 t0 2010.
INTERIOR.........................LEATHER AND FABRIC
AC..........CHILLING.
FACTORY AC WHEEL.......................GOOD TYRE, ALLOY WHEEL.
ASKING
PRICE..................Rangingfrom #300,000 to #700,000.00 SELLER.
COMMENT-
The car performs well, non accident, non salvaged, clean titled.
confirmed.
CONTACT: COMRADE BALOGUN JOHNSON ON +2349035450977.
NOTE:-NO BUYER SHOULD COME DOWN.
WITH MONEY TO THE OFFICE FOR SECURITY REASONS.
ALL MONEY PAID IS REFUNDABLE.

12 Jul 2014 12:20

Hohohohoho

12 Jul 2014 13:49

She is a monster

12 Jul 2014 13:59

Abegi make una hear grammer oo akpos wan toes girl.
Akpos>hello baby girk how are you doing
Girl>fine
AkPo> you look so charminology
Girl> what is charminology
Akpos>shortupology let me finishology
girl>akpos you are wanderful
akpos>when i look at your face i saw what i call mumuology of idiotology of nigeria
Girl>take it easy am inlove with aready
akpos>that is why i say you are too uglyology,{is like the girl notice what is ugly and she ask}
Girl>what is uglyology
Akpos>oh baby i mean you are queen of my life
Girl>that good
akpos>that is why said that you are mumuology
Girl>yeah thats me
akpos>now i know you are illitrateology getoutology......... Is the girl rilly an illitracy?